Have you ever felt like you needed a major overhaul of your brain?  Maybe your memory cells have bitten the dust!  I’ve come to believe that my brain has gaping holes of nothingness, and I can prove it but I don’t know how to fix it!  Here’s my evidence:

Exhibit 1––I make an appointment.  Enter it into my iPhone calendar, along with an alert 15 minutes before the appointment and at that time of the appointment.  The alerts go off.  I ignore them!  Then I get a call saying “are you coming?  We are all waiting for you!”  All? Who is all?

Exhibit 2—I live, maybe 3 miles from my grocery store and other shopping areas. I decide to go to town to pick up something important that I need, and while I am there run two errands.   I go to town, run the two errands, then have a conversation with a friend for a few minutes.   I drive home. As I pull into my drive it occurs to me that the one item, the important item, the one I needed, the reason I was driving into town, was still in town!

Exhibit 3––Here is one that I wager you can relate to. Ever call someone, and while your call is ringing, you get a little distracted so that when your party answers you haven’t a clue who you called!  Oh, sure, I am a senior citizen, so what!? I need that brain overhaul.

Exhibit 4 – A couple of friends and I decide to take a golf road trip, visiting golf courses off the beaten path.  I’m heading west out of Illinois on I80, counting on my GPS to lead us to a little country course somewhere north of Boone, IA, a place called Honey Creek, I think.  I’m following my GPS instructions to the letter — turn here, there, etc., it is complicated and it seems it is taking up a long time.  Finally, my GPS tells me we have “Arrived at your destination”. We look around and we are in a forest of grain elevators!  No golf course.  There is a sign: Honey Creek Grain, Inc.  I look at my GPS.  It says the same thing!  How did that happen?  My friend takes my GPS, turns it off.  Takes his out and then tells us we are still 75 miles from our destination! Help!

Exhibit 5 – I am fixing dinner.  I have a nice casserole in the oven. Set two timers, just to make sure.  Timers go off and I think, “What’s that noise?”  By the time it occurs to me, no casserole, no dinner.  I need a brain overhaul!

Exhibit 6 – My doctor is a nice young lady.  She tells me that it is not unusual for a man of my certain age to have trouble remembering few things.  I say that is not good enough.  Something else has got to be going on here.  Do I have a brain tumor?  Do I have early on-set  Alzheimer’s?  Will I die tomorrow?  She calmly says no, no and no.  Then she adds “I don’t know if you will die tomorrow, but it wouldn’t be a health issue and anything else would be out of my pay grade!

Exhibit 7 — I do firmly believe that growing old is not for sissies.  True story.  I have a friend who is 104 and has an older sister!  He is sharp as a tack.  I ask him, “do you have any trouble with memory?”   He tells me, no, I’ve never been to the Mediterranean. He is sharp as a tack, but his hearing is shot!

I hear people in our neighborhood talking about some grouchy old men. I’m not sure who they’re talking about but certainly not in my group. Sure, we have our aches and pains, we have differing political views, if we could only remember what they are. Being bossed around by younger kids makes no sense at all. There’s no respect for us. What happened to wisdom comes with age? I have a good mind to…what was I saying?

I suspect that my kids are thinking I need a keeper. Bah!  (But, I am leaning that way.) Let me see, a keeper, attractive, 20 years younger than me, hmmm.  Oh, forget it!  One thing I know, I need a brain overhaul!

For What It’s Worth (not much!).

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