WATCHWORD:
30 Don’t cause the Holy Spirit sorrow by the way you live. Remember, he is the one who marks you to be present on that day when salvation from sin will be complete. 31 Stop being mean, bad-tempered, and angry. Quarreling, harsh words, and dislike of others should have no place in your lives. 32 Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God has forgiven you because you belong to Christ. Ephesians 4:30–32
Meditation:
Empathy, Compassion, Love
A recent Watchword was entitled “Fear is not Peace”. That got me thinking about the characteristics of emotional states of mind that are strangely related: fear, empathy and compassion, and I could throw in anger as well, because in my mind each one of us has gone through periods of anger, some we may not have identified as such, maybe we called it ‘righteous indignation’.
Anger, in my mind, is tied to hope in kind of a strange way. When we consider what is happening in our country and what we have all been through these past three or four years, is it any wonder that we have experienced anger because we want a better narrative, a narrative that opens us to empathy, compassion and, ultimately, love.
I was watching a podcast by Elizabeth Gilbert, author of Eat Pray Love and Big Magic, and she was drawing a line between empathy and compassion, and making some interesting points about how they are related. On the subject of compassion, Gilbert, reflecting on the impact of the pandemic, says that “this was not a time or us to hoard. It’s time to store our grain in the belly of the hungry neighbor.” I find that beautiful imagery of generosity born out of empathy, leading to compassion, resulted in active love.
I got to thinking about adding fear to the mix and how that gives clarity to the relationship. Let me explain. You are a parent. In the middle of the night your young child wakes you up screaming in fear. You rush to her side, hold her. You understand her fear of the dark, or scary shapes or whatever she says because you’ve been there. You have empathy. You hold her and calm her and, eventually, she drifts off to sleep. Her fear triggered your empathy, which lead to compassion, all born of love.
One of my essays describes what I had learned from my friend, the campus pastor at Manchester College, years ago. We were at a funeral home, standing in line, and about to speak to the mother who had witnessed the sudden death of her seven-year-old son when he dashed to greet her and was struck by a truck. Under those circumstances sympathy says ‘I’m sorry for your loss’, while empathy says ‘what a blessing to have had your son in your life for those seven years’. Compassion says ‘When you’re ready, please let me know and, if you want to talk, I’m here’. My friend did all that, perfectly, and I learned.
For us, we shared a common condition in the attack of the virus, the isolation and the continued fear of the virus. We can empathize with others. ‘I see you are suffering like me’. Compassion is often born out of empathy because we can relate to the suffering of the other, we take next steps in love, ‘how can I help, what can I do?’
So, what is my point? I am convinced, that a good part of empathy and compassion lies within each one of us, for, at its core, what we have gone through, and our present state, is personal. It is how we each grow from it. I believe Love is the source of all compassion, it is the opposite of fear. To me, there is a positive counter-transition that goes like this — Fear can breed anger. Anger, recognized, can encourage sympathy. Awareness of our sympathetic response can engender empathy. Empathy opens the door to compassion, and compassion is love. That may sound complicated, but it happened in the blink of an eye.
May the power of God’s love within us, always move us to acts of compassion, sometimes beyond our human willingness to act.
Prayer for Compassion:
Fill my soul with compassion. Let me listen empathetically to those around me. Help me have compassion for those who are less fortunate than I am. I pray that You will use me to help them improve their circumstances and feel Your divine love. Teach me to have more perfect compassion. I want to be more loving and generous. Help me know what people need and how I can help them find it. I hope that with Your power, I can help more people feel the kindness of a generous God. I humbly offer this prayer in Jesus Christ’s name. Amen.
