WATCHWORD:
22 “Never, Lord!” Peter said. “This shall never happen to you!” 23 Jesus turned and said to him, “Get behind me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to me; you do not have in mind the concerns of God, but merely human concerns.” 24 Then Jesus said to his disciples, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. Matthew 16:20-24
Meditation:
Deny Yourself
Back in 1971, I wrote a silly little essay entitled I’m Simply Grand! Here is just a small sample:
Don’t look at me I’m not to blame, I didn’t rain out your silly game. I didn’t bring the clouds so grey and cause the thunder to pound away and dampen down your Saturday! Don’t look at me I’m not the cause, I’m not known to have any flaws. I didn’t cause that bad grade. I didn’t cause the goof you made. And those extra pounds, I’m here to say, I didn’t make you bulge that way! Don’t look at me, I’m much too bright. My opinions are always right! I don’t recall raising my voice or ever making a bad choice…
Now, what did Jesus say? “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me.” That’s exactly what Jesus said — deny self. So, how does one do that? How do I deny myself? Does that mean putting others first? Hmm. How does one do that, when I have this nagging little thought in the back of my mind that somehow I am better than that one?
Self. From the time we were small the emphasis was on building our self-esteem, our character, being who we are. It became so ingrained into our DNA, our self-interest DNA, that it has the power to blot out what God has designed and built in and corrupts our human nature for its own purposes. It is a subtle and sneaky transformation.
In the process of our becoming who we are, our individuality forms a hard outer layer that protects and surrounds our inner spiritual life. As individuality develops, it shoves others aside, separating, and isolating people. It happens as we subconsciously protect ourselves and defend the characteristics of the child within. When we place our individuality over our spiritual life, our Spirit will become isolated, and we’ve lost something of value we didn’t even know we had.
Were you ever told by a parent or a significant other in your life to stand up for who you are. We carry that mindset into our present day. As an adult, were you ever asked to do something challenging, perhaps giving a homily in church, and your first impulse was to say “I can’t do that.” That’s because your individuality is blocking the way. That ‘you’ can’t believe because it’s focused on protecting and not risking. But your ‘spiritual you’ can’t help but believe and you are assured in your faith that the spirit of God is at work in you, saying I can do this because Christ will give me the strength.
I am convinced that God wants to bring us into union with himself, but unless we are willing to give up our right to ourselves, we cannot. What Jesus said about denying self, means to deny our independent right to ourselves. If we do that, then the real part of our spiritual life is allowed the opportunity to grow, and we begin to truly follow, and take on the image of our Lord. So be it.
Praying Psalm 51:10-13:
Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me. Cast me not away from thy presence; and take not thy holy spirit from me. Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation; and uphold me with thy free spirit. Then will I teach transgressors thy ways; and sinners shall be converted unto thee. Teach me to lift others up and to love them as you love me. Amen.
