Don’t Bother Me with Facts!
I get a bit frustrated with my friends when I try to argue a point that differs from their position. This could be political, religious, or common sense matters that occur every day. There have been times when “facts” are on my side, but it matter not, to them! They seem to be telling me not to bother them with facts if those facts run contrary to their ideas. At times a stray thought enters my mind that my “facts” may simply be my ideas! I quickly dismiss that nonsense!
This seems to happen most frequently when discussions turn to politics! I am not, generally, an outspoken person. But when a statement is made that is clearly (my point of view) outside the “cone of reason”, I simply cannot let it hang there without a challenge. My challenge is often based on information obtained through FactCheck.org or Snopes.com. I use these two sources because they seem to be reliable, credible and current.
So, armed with my thoroughly researched, reliable, credible and current information (also known as facts) to bolster my argument, I wade into the challenge! My friends, with whom I am sparring, are intelligent and well read (this could be the flaw in my thinking!), and I enter the fray assuming that clear statements of facts, calmly presented, will win the day. Is my researched and calmly presented information accepted? Do I receive the proper apology from my friends for being so wrong? NO! Indeed, they counter with their own “facts”, born of long-held positions and supported by Talk Radio experts! Gads! Who are these people!? Talk Radio, indeed! How can I reason with that kind of thinking? Can an entrenched mind be impervious to change?
What have I encountered? Human nature, psychology and reality, that’s what! Take, for example, Position A which represents an idea that you hold. You have no evidence that the idea is true, but nevertheless this idea is part of how you think, you think it is true, and, therefore, it is! You are comfortable discussing your idea with those who agree with your idea and have no doubts.
Now, it comes to your attention that there is evidence that your idea is true and valid. You embrace that evidence and feel even more comfortable with your idea. You clearly see the connection between your idea and this new evidence and, therefore, the new evidence is both valid and serves to prove your idea. In fact your idea serves to prove the new evidence! Aha! So, there is no doubt that your idea is true. End of discussion!
But wait, now it comes to your attention that there is new strong evidence that refutes your idea and, in fact, proves it is not true, and is invalid! Now what do you do? You have this long-held idea that has changed your way of thinking over time, you have evidence that seems to prove your idea is true and valid. What do you do with this new evidence? This proof, these facts that your idea has no merit. Now it has become personal. If my idea has no merit, then I have no merit! That can’t be! I just won’t accept this new so-called evidence. Period! End of discussion! (The sound of a mind slamming shut!)
A dilemna. Back before the signing of the Declaration of Independence, Thomas Bayes developed a theory on probability called, obviously, the Bayesian Theorem. If you Google it, you might get as confused as I am. Bayes would probably say that if you have evidence that your idea is “probably” true, then your confidence in that idea is stronger. On the other hand, if there is evidence that your idea is “probably” not true, then your confidence in that idea is weakened.
Now back to my dilemma.
Back to my frustration with my friends. We both have strongly held ideas, they are just counter to one another. They know where I stand and therefore my presentation of “facts” do not seem to penetrate their strongly held ideas. I know where they stand and their “so-called facts” do not penetrate. That is called a stalemate. What are stalemates good for? Not a darn thing! The best thing to do is keep the friendship, ditch the conflict and find comfortable common ground. In other words, just walk away.
For What It’s Worth.
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