In the course of our lives we will be touched by the passing of a friend or loved one. We attend funerals and memorial services of those we love and respect, and are reminded of their quality, there importance in our lives and in the lives of the family. We struggled to find the right words to say and maybe, because of our own experience, we know that the most important thing is your presence and support. Words are not crucial.
Over the past six weeks, I attended, participated in, or otherwise supported the memorial services for three members of my family and one friend and colleague. Each was a Celebration of Life and at each we heard story after story of the quality of that person, how they impacted so many lives. With each story, the thought may have occurred to some, I may not have known them as much as I such have. Our loss, adding to our grief.
I believe throughout our lives, we touch others in ways we do not always know. Much of that is revealed in the stories told. We listen carefully, yet don’t always hear. Over these six weeks there have been stories of a long-time colleague, a husband, a wife, a brother, each one unique, each one revealing the qualities of a life lived and blessed us.
One family member, an in-law and her sister, were violently taken from us at a young age. At her memorial event, I shared an essay of what I had learned of her life. I offer it here only to illustrate the inclusiveness of our stories, for the story honors the loved. I entitled this one, Touched by Grace.
I knew her only for a few short years, not as long as others — my loss. It was only after she was gone, at age 34, that I got to know her better, through stories of the way she lived her life, day by day, and the way her spirit touched those she met. Hallmarks of a life well-lived, ever so briefly.
She set standards most of us didn’t know about, until afterward. Even at the start of her career, in an office set in areas where it was advised not walk alone, she chose to go out, alone, greeting and smiling to those she met. Over time, her colleagues joined her, first out of concern for her safety, then later, out of a realization that being out on the street was having a positive change in the neighborhood. Such was the power of her spirit.
There are countless homeless people, who would tell you story after story about their time with her, conversations and silly jokes and generosity that would shame us all. One man, out of resources and down on his luck, might look you in the eye, and, pointing to sturdy, quality boots he was wearing, he would nod and say, “I had no shoes, until she came into my life.”
Lunch was often a visit to fast food, and multiple sandwiches purchased, then shared with hungry friends, there on the street, the homeless, such was only a small slice of her compassion.
If you talked with her, even briefly, you would know that she was one of a very few who had the ability or spirit to make anyone she was talking with feel like they were the most important person in the world to her. Such was the warmth of her spirit.
She could manufacture joy out of whole cloth. Put her in a place surrounded by children, and laughter, and singing, and games would suddenly erupt. Put her with one that was grieving the loss of a loved one, and time would standstill and she would comfort and encourage. Put her on a beach and she herself would become the picture of joy. Such was the empathy and inner peace of her spirit.
She never met a cat or kitten, or any animal, for that matter, that she didn’t love and care for. Her love and caring encompassed every growing thing, that she would nurture and feed and talk into healthy growth. In fact, a stick would grow roots, a leaf would continue to show color, a nut would break forth.
She modeled generosity, compassion, love, openness, and so much more. In my lifetime, I have known a multitude of good people, compassionate people, loving people, but very few were spiritual people. She was all of that and a bag of taco chips!
Our Lord, our Higher Power, our Muse, our Yahweh, Our God has been very kind to each one of us, we are indeed privileged, for we have known her. She has left her indelible mark on our hearts. We have been touched by grace. So be it.
Stan Escott
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