Category: Family and Friends

Chloe: Just a Story, Part Fact, Part Fiction

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It had been a really rough week for my friend. He is a medical professional, but had been unhappy in his work for some time.  The sudden breakup had thrown him off stride, leaving him bewildered and with a deep sense of loneliness. The one that he thought of as his best friend, was gone. A bit depressed, he left his office and walked across the deserted parking lot to his car. It was late and dark. He heard the sound as he approached his car, the insistent cry of a baby animal. He looked around, but saw nothing. Continue reading

Touched by Grace

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In the course of our lives we will be touched by the passing of a friend or loved one.  We attend funerals and memorial services of those we love and respect, and are reminded of their quality, there importance in our lives and in the lives of the family.  We struggled to find the right words to say and maybe, because of our own experience, we know that the most important thing is your presence and support. Words are not crucial.

Over the past six weeks, I attended, participated in, or otherwise supported the memorial services for three members of my family and one friend and colleague. Each was a Celebration of Life and at each we heard story after story of the quality of that person, how they impacted so many lives. With each story, the thought may have occurred to some, I may not have known them as much as I such have. Our loss, adding to our grief. Continue reading

Monkeys Jumping on the Bed

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Remember that nursery rhyme?  Five Little monkeys jumping on the bed one fell off and bumped his head.  I didn’t realize how indelibly imprinted that rhyme was in my mind until one evening while watching a family movie, reference was made to monkeys jumping on the bed.  And that was like turning on a slideshow of that time in my life when one of my daughters was singing that rhyme.

We all have triggers that opens up pieces of memory past, mostly pleasant memories, has been my experience.  Sometimes memories are part of birthday celebrations, family reunions, or maybe just a special happening in the course of an ordinary day; A hummingbird, just outside your window, that seemed to hang in the air, looking at you, just showing off, or a mountain view, a sunset, a flower garden. Continue reading

Can’t Stop Singing

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One is never ready for the feeling that, with the death of your loved one, love has gone out of your life. Even a five-year advance notice in a terminal illness does nothing to assuage the pain of loss. In grief, breathing remains labored and tears sneak up without warning. It is a grinding that no amount of support seems to lessen.

But, where had happiness gone? Why was it so hard to be in the moment, just to smile, to laugh, to share stories with friends? There was an emptiness that continued month after month, relentlessly, sad and without color. The memory of her remains, much like the perfume of flowers that lingers long after the flowers are gone and then, over time: Continue reading

Kismet: Two Life Stories

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Coincidence. Chance. Accident. Serendipity. Luck. Miracle. A God-thing. We have so many ways of explaining away things that we may not quite understand. Maybe it is kismet, that is fate or destiny, or perhaps a higher power that controls what happens over time, in the future.  You may hear about these moments in the lives of others but when they happen within the span of your life it may give you pause.  My father had one of those moments in the span of his life, and most recently that serendipity moment occurred with me. Chance?  Accident?  A God-thing? You decide. Continue reading

A Note in the Midst of Grief

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My dear friend,

Last week, I was the speaker in chapel at the retirement community where I live, part-time. I spoke on a familiar topic, God’s love for us, and how that love touches us in ways that we don’t always understand.  As you know, God’s love can sometimes seem hard and harsh.

In the middle of my talk, I said that Jesus knew the heart of the Father and Jesus knew that people last forever. I believe that. These bodies won’t last (Lord knows!), but our spirit does. At this point in my talk, completely unplanned, I spoke about the sadness and the goodness of Thanksgiving week, including the death of your husband (I’ll call him Mike), and the loving effect that his life had on all who knew him. His spirit lives! Continue reading

Not by Accident

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I am fascinated by theories that postulate cause and effect. One example is the “butterfly effect” which theorizes that the flutter of butterfly wings in one part of the world will have an impact elsewhere. Sounds a bit mystical, doesn’t it?  Is this theory implying that small causes can have large effects?

Or, how about this: past experiences can determine future responses. Then there is “Chaos theory” which states, in part, that the present determines the future.

I have my own cause and effect theory which I call “Not by Accident” and it suggests that what we have experienced or learned in our earlier days, we now pass on to others, intentionally or not, as we live our lives. These influences could be both good or bad. Continue reading

Regrets?  No!

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“Regrets, I’ve had a few, but then again too few to mention…” Can’t you just hear old Blue Eyes crooning that hit song so many years ago. Even now, the words of that song touch my tender spots.  Then you hear: ”I did it my way”, then you wonder. Do any of us live our lives solo? I mean, do any of us live our lives strictly Your Way or My Way?

Doesn’t it give you pause to think back over your life, and if the regrets seem to pop up with greater frequency, then maybe you need to take a closer look. Maybe you’re concentrating on the big ugly things, and obscuring in those little precious moments the truly make up the quality of your life. Continue reading

Smells Like Dirt!

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I have a son-in-law, Don, who created and operates a nursery that specializes in succulents and other drought-resistant plants. He started the nursery essentially from scratch and with his creativity and energy has elevated it to one of the finest in Southern California. In my periodic visits I have watched the evolution of this nursery from a 5-acre empty lot into a beautiful, visitor-friendly garden, filled with luscious plants, and vivid colors. (See https://www.facebook.com/SerraGardens) Continue reading

My Mother

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My last recollection of Mother was when the three of us were visiting my sisters in Colorado.  Dad and I had gone for a long walk and he told me that Mother was worried about cancer.  She had some tests before they left for Colorado and was awaiting the results. There had been a lot of cancer in her family background and this worried her.

While I was concerned about my mother’s health, there had always been a bit of a gulf between us.  It was always “Mother” and never “Mom”, although for my older sisters, it was always “Mom”.  I was the “baby” of the family and I suppose I was spoiled, especially in the eyes of my sisters.  I don’t recall ever feeling that I was given special treatment but I know I was teased about it, which was upsetting. Continue reading