Category: Personal

The Haircut and Other Memories

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Recently I re-published an essay about my mother that I had written some two years before.  I had as hard time getting started with that essay because of my relationship with her was difficult on occasion, but then resistance faded away and there was my essay, my tribute to my mother.

On the other hand, my relationship with Dad was different.  Tucked away are many  memories of the two of us.  The time he built a sand box in the backyard and those times he would sit there with me playing cars, and roads, etc.  We would walk to the nearby hallow, and follow the trail down to the stream below. I was aware that people looked up to him and I know I was proud to be with him. Continue reading

A Grief Experienced

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Many years ago, as a college dean, I sought to comfort an older student who had witnessed the accidental death of her 7 year-old son.  As I stood in line at the funeral home, I wondered what could I possibly say to this grieving mother?  In front of me was the Campus Pastor who did and said all the right things. The hug, the quite murmurs of sympathy, and then, to my surprise, he began to speak of the young boy and what a blessing he had been in her life.  He didn’t avoid the subject. The elephant was in the room but it didn’t matter!  Her son was honored by the remembering conversation.  The brief conversation did not ally her grief, but it mattered to her. Continue reading

Faith Thoughts: 103

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Faith and the “real” world.  How does that work?

A few years ago, two of the Men’s Bible Study groups that I am apart of were looking at Islam.  In one I was confronted with a sense of fear, a fear that for all intent and purpose has prevented a clear and unfettered discussion of Islam.  I failed to keep the conversation focused for there seemed to be such a closed mind, which surprised me. All my brothers seem to be able to concentrate on is violence and what they see as “Allah, the avenger”, out to kill all infidels (Christians, Jews, etc.).  A very frustrating discussion. Continue reading

Faith Thoughts: 102

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What about the Resurrection?

Christianity without the Resurrection?  I don’t believe so.  Simply put, in my mind, without the Resurrection there is no Christianity!  My wife and I came to believe that, during those early years which we refer to as the real beginning of our Christian walk.  If we could not believe in the Resurrection, then we could not be Christians.  That remains central to our faith.

As I tried to recall the years of my youth, the hundreds of church services I attended (usually under duress), the hundreds of dad’s sermons heard, slept through, and also read, I did not grasp the importance of the Resurrection, which I feel is so key now.  I do see Dad’s emphasis on the ministry of Christ, the power that belief brings to good works, the sense of being a “good” person, and the lessons that Christ’s life teaches us.  But the Resurrection?  Not so much. Continue reading

Faith Thoughts: 101

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(Post 1 of 3)

Some years ago I set out to write a “brief” statement of my faith that I could share with my children.  At that time they were adults in their 30’s and who, probably, had a fairly well-formed idea of “religion”, faith and all that “stuff”.  That “brief” statement ended up not being brief at all.  So what follows here, and two other blogs, are faith points that are important for me and are offered here for your consideration.

Over the years I have resolved to have conversations with my children about faith and what I believe, but the time has never seemed right.  Over those years I flirted with that topic, have implied some, have lived out some, but never really gotten into it.  Maybe I was a little fearful, wanting to “say it right” but concerned that it might come out incomplete, or incoherent, or sounding like I’m proselytizing!  But the reality of it is that I probably communicated more than I know. Continue reading

My Mother

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My last recollection of Mother was when the three of us were visiting my sisters in Colorado.  Dad and I had gone for a long walk and he told me that Mother was worried about cancer.  She had some tests before they left for Colorado and was awaiting the results. There had been a lot of cancer in her family background and this worried her.

While I was concerned about my mother’s health, there had always been a bit of a gulf between us.  It was always “Mother” and never “Mom”, although for my older sisters, it was always “Mom”.  I was the “baby” of the family and I suppose I was spoiled, especially in the eyes of my sisters.  I don’t recall ever feeling that I was given special treatment but I know I was teased about it, which was upsetting. Continue reading

Taking Inventory

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I never got around to making a Bucket List.  I guess I was just too busy living to take the time.  What I do have are those things, events, accomplishments, etc. that I actually did that might have appeared on my Bucket List, had I taken the time earlier to do that.  What I am left with is a kind of Blessings List, markers that we were there, we left our footprints, and we are left with great memories. Continue reading

The “C” Word!

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I never expected to hear the word cancer, especially when there had not been cancer as far back in the family tree as we could remember.  As I sat there, denial washed over me and I thought:  Mistake!  Can’t be!  Yet, there it was.

My wife and I had watched as the thoracic surgeon played the results of my PET scan and Bang! a nodule, bright and shining popped up before our eyes, and we heard his words:  “It’s as hot as a light bulb and it’s got to come out, now!” Surgery should be scheduled soon, he says, and we found it difficult to process those words. Continue reading

Safe

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Safe.  Such a little word.  We know what it means in baseball and in banks.  When we use it to describe our sense of presence, it strongly implies physical safety.  It is a little like security, but a bit closer to peace.  Safe.

David Foster and Carol Bayer Sager have written a beautiful, special song, “The Prayer“, which captures the meaning and importance of a spiritual presence, which, by its very nature, is part and parcel of being “safe”: Continue reading

A Most Appropriate Memorial

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For years, on Memorial Day weekend, my wife and I have visited the cemetery where my parents are buried.  It has become a tradition that helps us focus on memories and the role that mother and dad played in my life.  As we stood at the graveside, I recalled a short story, a work of fiction that our daughter had written about her grandmother, whom she never met, since my daughter was born years after my mother died. Continue reading

Kites, Coke and Isaly’s Ice Cream

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Just to set the stage for this essay:  In my early childhood I lived in Steubenville, Ohio, a small city on the banks of the Ohio River,  just across  from the steel mills of Wheeling, West Virginia.  My father was pastor of a Congregational Church and we lived in the parsonage.  Both the church and our house were situated on high hills well above the river and I recall with clarity pieces of my experience there with my two sisters and my parents.

The routines of our family were set by the pastoral work of dad and Sundays were very special.  After worship the family would gather at the table for a delicious meal that mother had prepared.  Dad would always turn on the radio to the Longines-Wittnauer Watch Hour and we would listen to classical music as we ate.  I believe I can trace my love of classical music to that Sunday dinner routine. Continue reading

Ah, Childhood!

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My early childhood was spent in Steubenville, Ohio, a small city on the banks of the Ohio River,  just across  from the steel mills of Wheeling, West Virginia.  My father was pastor of a Congregational Church and we lived in the parsonage.  Both the church and our house were situated on high hills well above the river and I recall with clarity pieces of my life there with my two sisters and my parents. Continue reading